What is Forgiveness

What is Forgiveness and Why We Forgive
The practice of forgiveness is an invaluable stepping-stone to peace.
It is one means to healing our self, and healing our relationship with others. We can take momentary refuge in forgiveness for, if it is sincere, it can free up a tremendous amount of otherwisetrapped and toxic energy within us. Upon forgiving, or being forgiven, we may feel more optimistic or lighter, feeling as if we have more energy.Forgiveness can be characterized as:
1) a choice to reconcile,
2) an attitude about setting things right,
3) a compassionate way of communicating,
4) a specific action, and
5) an ongoing, lifelong process.
Above all, forgiveness expresses forgiveness tremendous amounts of resentment or hurt can build-up within. “If wepractice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,” cautioned Mahatma Gandhi, “soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” From your own life experiences wouldn’t you agree?
Types of Forgiveness
Forgiveness can be shown in momentary ways, as in immediately saying “I’m sorry.” We all know the appropriateness of apologizing; for example, when we have spontaneously shared a few unkind words to a friend and suddenly realize they were hurtful. We should strive to make such “little forgivenesses” a natural part of our daily life. Consequently, they don’t build up inside us, and they clear the air with others. Forgiveness can also be effective beyond the little run-ins of the day. Sometimes things we have done to others (or they to us) burden our heart or mental state. Three kinds of forgiveness characterize the action we should take:· Self-forgiveness that enables us to release shame, guilt, pride, or the illusion thatwe are perfect and “without sin.”· Forgiveness we extend to friend and foe alike, and receive from them.· The forgiveness of God, as part of our faith or faith tradition, that reaffirms ourworth and strengthens us to move peacefully back into the world.
In the first instance, we can all attest to personal symptoms that could be relieved by forgiveness — feeling so hurt or bitter that we harbor the desire for revenge; brooding and pouting over petty grievances; feeling overwhelming guilt for offending someone; worrying that we could be hurt again; stubbornly hanging on to the belief that we were in the right. As long as we are attached to such symptoms, we cannot take a first step toward healing. Our wounded pride is often the first obstacle we must overcome, therefore we have to begin within our self to re-establish some peace of mind.
Sometimes you have to be brave enough to set things right with another, or within yourself. It may be the only way to open and soften a closed and hard heart. To release the tension, just start somewhere and make a sincere attempt at reconciling your feelings and/or your relationship with another.
Try these four steps:
1. Look honestly and inwardly at a particular hurt you have not been able to forgive.
2. Get in touch with your feelings about that hurt. Are they tinged with anger,shame, guilt, resentment, worry, embarrassment, pride, or denial?
3. Imagine what it would be like if things were set right, if the hurt was gone.
4. Let the hurt go — forgive yourself, or, find a kind way within your heart to forgive another, either quietly within yourself or expressing it directly to them.
Forgiveness as a Spiritual Practice
All spiritual traditions uphold the virtue of forgiveness. For most people this is a welcome relief; it gives one renewed opportunity to make things right: before others andbefore God. As one spiritual teacher said: “A saint is a sinner who never gave up.”Forgiveness is a key virtue in Christian behavior. In Luke 6:37-38 of the Bible, it is said:“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” In Matthew, Jesus Christ tells his disciples the parable of the unforgiving debtor, summarizing: “If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”(6:14) This
pronouncement certainly inspired the passage: “forgive
our trespassers, as we forgive their trespasses,” in the
well-known Lord’s Prayer, and in the equally revered Prayer of Saint Francis: “Where there is injury, pardon;” and, “It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”
The Jewish High Holy Days present an occasion for those in that tradition to come to peace with themselves by looking back at their behaviors, by admitting to their mistakes,apologizing and atoning for them by forgiving and being forgiven. During Yom Kipper, the traditional Jewish prayer for forgiveness known as the Al Chet is often cited.
Muslims often cite the Koran: “He who forgiveth, and is reconciled unto his enemy, shall receive his reward from God; for He loveth not the unjust doers.” (sura 42)
The Bhagavad Gita of Hindu faith states: “If you want to see the brave, look at those who can forgive. If you want to see the heroic, look at those who can love in return for hatred.”
Links
forgiveness is a virtue
http://mrinalkantipal.blogspot.com/2009/07/forgiveness-is-virtue.html
reference
You can Heal your Life – Louise L Hay